Saying NO

Saying NO.

Sheesh Mr. Buffet, how did you know that this is my work right now???

The energy is shifting for me and it feels incredibly powerful.

To be honest, 2019 has been messy. It’s been chaotic. SO many amazing things have happened, and I am incredibly grateful, but I am so ready for the shift that is here.

It’s already happening.

I tell clients all the time, “going through the weeds is a natural and necessary part of the process” and damn, I feel that.

Here’s a little about my 2019. I said yes to everything. I said yes to speaking and TV shows. I said yes to networking events 4+ times per week, I said yes to all the clients. I said yes to all the invitations to be part of groups and clubs. I. Said. Yes. To. Everything. I even listened to Shonda Rhymes’ “Year of Yes”, basically to convince myself to keep going (pretty sure I took her message the wrong way; sorry Shonda). I said yes to everything, except myself.

I listened to a lot of external stimuli that told me how to be successful. And I had success. But I also woke up almost every night with heart racing anxiety. The kind that makes you curl up in a ball at 2AM and cry because you just don’t know what else to do.

Yep, that shit happens to me too.

And I’m not here to say that I’m suddenly healed and that everything is perfect; I’m a freakin human after all. But I’ve worked through it to the point of being able to sit here and talk to the internet about it.

Here’s the lightbulb moment I had…..

A panic attack, or anxiety, is not a bad thing unless you make it mean that it’s bad. I think our culture likes to make us think that if we experience anything negative, we have to get rid of it right away, throw a Band-Aid on it and make it disappear.

What if we saw the pain, the anxiety, the panic as a gift?

For me, it became a wake-up call.

It was a signal that something in my life was out of alignment (*ahem* saying yes to everything). It was a sign for me to DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY.

Whoa. Mind blowing concept, I know.

But here’s the thing, just because I had the lightbulb moment, the insight, the wisdom to know what to do next, doesn’t mean it was easy.

Actually, it’s probably the hardest work I’ve ever done. Saying no. scaling it all back. Burning it all down. Simplifying. Disappointing people.

Disappointing people.

Part of saying no, I’ve come to realize, is understanding that your validation comes from within. That you do not need the validation or acceptance from any other human on this planet. You are validated simply because you exist.

The reason I, and so many people, chronically say yes to everything, is because we have this primal drive to be accepted by others, to be loved. It’s a fear-based cry for love, really.

And when you realize that doing things, and saying yes to all the crap, is not the thing that actually gets you love and validation, you get to start saying no. you get to be free.

So here I am, imperfectly approaching 2020 with laser focus and fire and I have to say, it feels damn good.

Here’s what you can expect from me in 2020:

  1. I’m going to write and speak on this platform about whatever the heck I want to.
  2. I’m scaling back everything and focusing on entirely on growing my real estate empire.
  3. I will consider working with up to three 1:1 clients, if I feel that they are a good fit, which requires an application and interview process.

And that’s a wrap.

It’s beautiful what happens when we clear the clutter from our lives. Saying no to things (and people) actually creates space for you to KILL IT at the thing you’re actually most passionate about.

I hope this has inspired you to start saying NO to the things that don’t matter as much, so that you can say YES to the ones that do.

All my love friend,


P.S. if this majorly resonated with you and you feel so called, I would be forever grateful if you gave it a like and shared it with a friend that might need this message too.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *